FILM SPECIAL: 10 Most Upsetting Films of the Past 10 Years

With the recent release of controversial lady-baiter Antichrist and refusal of release for Japanese torture flick Grotesque (ah, the BBFC doth giveth and doth taketh away), cinematic misery is on the agenda once again. Sometimes we watch films to laugh, sometimes to scream and sometimes to cry. And other times, we like to be put through the ringer. And it is these films to which I pay tribute today - the ones that are genuinely upsetting but also genuinely earn the grief they land in your lap (so no Norbit then). So here are, in my opinion and in order of miserability, the 10 most upsetting films of the past 10 years (plus one that absolutely isn't)...



10. Out of the Blue (2006)
More often than not, when Hollywood gets hold of a true story, it soon becomes 'based upon a true story', then eventually 'inspired by true events' and then loses all impact (though Clint Eastwood's Changeling, which just missed the list, is a fine exception). What makes Out of the Blue's telling of the Aramoana massacre in New Zealand in 1990 is it's upfront, matter-of-fact presentation and it's all the more powerful for that. Though the story that unfolds is tragic, it's ultimately uplifting in its depiction of the townsfolk trying to survive through a terrifying situation. An understated look at humanity at both it's darkest and brightest, it's a fine film indeed.



9. Dead Man's Shoes (2004)
Plot-wise, Shane Meadows' film is ostensibly a revenge slasher flick, but few of those pictures are so down-to-earth, impeccably performed and mature. It's gritty and grim, but there is a disturbing levity to be found amongst the frankly likeable and daft small-town drug dealers gasmask-clad Richard (Paddy Considine) is out to dispatch. It's not perfect (the grainy black-and-white flashbacks are a tad student film) and arguably Meadows' follow-up This Is England is a stronger piece of work, but it still delivers a powerful blow.


8. The Assassination of Richard Nixon (2004)
I was in Manchester with a couple of friends and we had a choice of films at the cinema: this or Downfall. Figuring Nixon would be the less depressing option, we opted for him over Hitler. Now, I've still yet to see Downfall, but suffice to say, I'm not sure our criterion was strictly accurate. Still, we were rewarded with a superb film, with exceptional performances from Sean Penn and Naomi Watts (also both to be found in 21 Grams, another narrow miss on the upset stakes). Furthermore, the 70s setting gives it that 'Golden Age of US Cinema' feel. A must-see film for anyone who's ever felt there life is insignificant and secretly knows it'll never get better. God, that's depressing.



7. All About Lily Chou-Chou (2001)
Shunji Iwai's study of the fall-out between two schoolfriends told largely in flashback and through internet chatspeak is two-and-a-half hours of depression, suicide, angst, bullying, prostitution, humiliation and generally very bad things. Not exactly the most tantalising way to spend a night at the cinema, but what is one of the most emotionally draining films I've ever seen is also one of the most unshakeable films I've ever seen. A lo-fi digital shooting style keeps everything believable, every scene's charged with a sense of impending dread, and the music of the eponymous (and fictitious) singer lead role Yuichi (Hayato Ichihara) obsesses over is so wonderful, you can see why it's of such importance to the character. It's as perfect of portrayal of teen loneliness you're ever likely to see and 100% emo wank free.



6. Funny Games U.S. (2007)
A strange choice for this list perhaps, being as it is virtually a shot-for-shot remake by Michael Haneke of his own 1997 original work (which I haven't actually seen), but then again it was also a strange choice for my birthday trip to the cinema two years ago. It has been much criticised for it's pointlessness, senselessness and condescendingness (actual word!), but it's still an important film and one that I was quite taken by. A family (Tim Roth, Naomi Watts - seemingly a glutton for punishment - and Devon Gearhart) are taken hostage in their holiday home by a disarmingly charming but sadistic duo (Michael Pitt and Brady Corbet) who break the fourth wall as much as they do toy with their victim's lives. Unpleasant and uncomfortable but unconventional too.



5. Audition (1999)
The ever-prolific but endlessly interesting Takashi Miike commanded international attention with this slow-burning shocker. Ryo Ishibashi plays a widower who is encouraged by his son to find a new companion. His producer friend sets up a mock casting call as a way to meet potential girlfriends, and he becomes enamoured by a young former ballerina (Eihi Shiina). What starts as a sweet romantic drama takes a turn for the worst as her true nature and deadly past are revealed, building to a horrific climax. A precursor to the 'torture porn' trend of recent years through the Saw and Hostel films (as evidenced by Eli Roth giving the Japanese director a cameo in the first Hostel).



4. Sympathy For Mr. Vengeance (2002)
The past decade has seen the Koreans become the go-to guys for exhilirating grown-up cinema, and Park Chan-Wook is one of it's key luminaries. This, the first in his 'Vengeance' trilogy, may not be as energetic as Oldboy or artful as Lady Vengeance, but it packs a mean punch in which no-one, be they innocent or criminal, gets off lightly and happy endings are a rare luxury. Its brutality still sends ripples through the Korean film industry (most recently with The Chaser) and marked lead Song Kang-ho (later to feature in the equally excellent Memories of Murder, The Host, and The Good, The Bad, The Weird) as one of the most watchable actors in the world today.


3. Requiem For A Dream (2000)
Not a film for everyone and one I do have a few my misgivings about - it certainly piles on the misery in such an unremitting fashion it veers dangerously close to my choice of absolutely not-upsetting film below. However, if you don't want to crack a smile all day, watch it over breakfast. It's probably the best-directed anti-drugs PSA you're ever likely to see. But mainly it's a bit like Jam without the laughs. And if you didn't laugh watching Jam, then steer well away of Requiem For A Dream.


2. Eden Lake (2008)
Okay, so it's not that easy to justify the middle class heroes vs working class bad'uns angle of what was billed as the first 'hoodie horror' (despite there being no hoodies in it - and Ils got their first), but whichever way you cut it, Eden Lake is gruelling stuff. Kelly Reilly and Michael Fassbender are a couple out for a weekend away by the titular body of water when they encounter a group of teenage delinquents (featuring This Is England's Thomas Turgoose). Tensions rise, arguments flare, pranks go too far and soon the kids take increasingly grim measures to make sure they don't leave alive. It's a raw, uncompromising example of the best of modern British horror with a simple but chilling final shot that gives you the goosebumps.


1. Irréversible (2002)
The only film I've been to see at the cinema which advised no refunds after the film started because of the graphic content contained within, but also one of the most incredible experiences I've ever had. A film so brilliantly filmed, acted and constructed it wholly justifies the terrible terrible things that take place within (despite the understandable tales of walk-outs and pass-outs). An unflinching tale told in reverse chunks a la Memento (but taking that idea to its inevitable conclusion by running the credits at the start), real-life couple Vincent Cassel and Monica Bellucci are joined by friend Albert Dupontel (see Bernie, see Bernie, see Bernie) on a night out that turns impossibly sour. But being that it's revealed backwards, we are greeted with the film's climax: a nightmarish descent into gay S&M club The Rectum, filled with stomach-churning spinning camerawork and low-frequency soundtrack. If that doesn't unsettle the mind as much as the body, brace yourself for the violent outburst that follows. And then there's the question of why the lead characters are there in the first place - the film's deeply disturbing and painfully real centrepiece. At least it's one of the few films on the list with a happy ending, but when that's only because we are seeing events prior to the ones we've already witnessed, it just makes it all the more upsetting.

And one film that genuinely isn't upsetting as much as it tries to be...



The Butterfly Effect (2004)

A-ha-ha-ha! Idiot's masterpiece The Butterfly Effect has become one of those cult films that I found hilarious but a surprising majority find truly deep and profound as if the concept of cause-and-effect had never ocurred to them before Ashton Kutcher went weepy and discovered the ability to change his childhood. Unfortunately, such is the list of horrors his character endures, that it piles on despair after despair, becoming ever more ludicrous. Isolated, they'd be depressing but together, it's hysterical, and include:

...visiting his dad for the first time in the mental hospital only for pater to attempt to strangle him and then die in front of him; being filmed by the local paedo for a kiddie porn home movie; accidentally blowing up a baby with a hidden firecracker; watching his dog get burnt alive...

and then when he returns home to see his school sweetheart, she flips and kills herself that evening. That's a bit of a downer, right? So for reasons barely explained (or perhaps I could barely care about), he reads his journals, he travels to the past and tries to undo the mess of his life. But in true 'be careful what you wish for fashion', nothing's perfect, his "what if?" alternate lives get worse and worse, and he ends up with no limbs! Actually, that's not the 'ending' ending but nor is it the alternate ending in which he decides to rid the world of his existence by, no kidding, warping back to when he was a foetus, then strangle himself with his umbilical cord in his mother's womb!

"Oh my gawd! Like, y'know, when a butterfly flaps its wings, it can cause a hurricane on the other side of the world!". Yes, but when that concept is better demonstrated in The Simpsons with Homer's time-travelling toaster, you know your film's going to be as deep as a puddle and just as interesting. Not even Ian Malcolm would care about this tosh.

FILM: Drag Me To Hell

I was fortunate to attend a special preview screening of Drag Me To Hell, presented by FrightFest at the ICA, with director Sam Raimi and stars Alison Lohman and Justin Long in attendence for a Q+A session afterwards.

While Drag Me To Hell is a homecoming of sorts for Sam Raimi to the horror genre, that is not to say he had given up on 'terror pictures' altogether. Through his production company Ghost House Pictures, he's released a bunch of fright flicks, from the remake of The Grudge to 30 Days of Night, with varying degrees of success. As director though, there were clearly hints of his earlier work in the Doc Ock operating theatre scene in Spider-Man 2, but a full-blown Raimi horrorfest was not forthcoming while the webslinger was top priority. Having finally broken free of the money-spinning web-spinner, if only for a brief moment, it was time to get back to the genre that made his name, calling the shots on a self-penned script (with brother Ivan) originated circa Darkman. And not only does Drag Me To Hell mark the return of one of horror's favourite sons, but the return of horror as just purely enjoyable entertainment.

When bank clerk Christine Brown (Lohman) turns down an extension on a home loan for Mrs. Ganush (an incredible Lorna Raver) in hope it will get her a promotion, she is confonted by the elderly lady and a curse is placed upon her: in three days time, she is going to hell. Tormented by demonic forces, she enlists the help of spiritualists and her cynical boyfriend (Long) to try and break the spell before its too late. Not an exactly original premise, and one that seems archaic in contemporary horror cinema, but with Raimi in charge it makes for exceptional entertainment.

First things first, this isn't scary. There are plenty of jolts and jumps, and the central conceit of being literally dragged to hell isn't exactly a pleasant one, but this is horror as thrill-ride. The screams are as much those of laughter as they are of fear. In fact, Drag Me To Hell may be one of the funniest films of the year. There are moments of pure hysteria on screen the likes of which haven't been seen since Braindead (not that this is anywhere near as gory, but two scenes in particular, one involving a dead body and another a Meet the Parents-esque dinner date, owe something to Peter Jackson's masterpiece), with lots of gross-out gags and splat-stick. Although some yuks don't work as well as others (thanks to a couple of CG mis-fires, though this is largely, and thankfully, a practical effects showcase), Raimi's gift of the funny remains in the film's dark sense of humour, with the lengths Christine will go to save her soul, and some zingy dialogue.

But what really makes the film such a joy is just how much of a spiritual successor to the Evil Dead films it feels while remaining totally accessible to those introduced to Raimi through Spider-Man. References abound, but not in such a rib-diggingly obvious way that generate groans nor do they confuse or befuddle non-seasoned viewers. Certainly, the seance sequence is practically Evil Dead II taken out of the cabin and into a grand hall, Mrs. Ganush herself is every bit a malevolent she-bitch, and the classic Oldsmobile makes its customary return, but the little touches, be they intentional or just wired into Raimi's film-making blood, speak volumes to fans. While Raimi's trademark twirly camera tricks are not as wild or as prevalent as in the past, the content remains undeniably his work. Even the poster is reminiscient of the original poster for The Evil Dead.

Some may decry Drag Me To Hell as a little goofy and it's not exactly going to give you any nightmares, but it was simply one of the most enjoyable moviegoing experiences I've had. Just as Star Trek reminded everyone that sci-fi blockbusters didn't need to be plodding operas drained of all character (ahem, Star Wars prequels), so too does Drag Me To Hell remind you that horror needn't always be gritty, torture-filled and excessively gory. Instead, they can simply be a hell of a lot of fun.

9/10

FILM: Wall-E

Who woulda thunk that the big Disney film of the summer would offer a genuinely touching love story, rampant satire on such subjects as big business, commercialism and obesity, and offer one of the most awe-inspiring and depressing visions of the future? But then again, this is Pixar, and after Ratatouille dispelled my personal concerns they'd lost their touch (the likes of Finding Nemo and The Incredibles left me cold), Wall-E far exceeded my expectations.

Andrew Stanton's film follows the titular robot, the last of his kind, who has spent the last several centuries clearing up the waste mankind left behind on planet Earth before hot-footing it into space until the cleaning operation is complete (as indicated by some hilarious live-action commercials dotted around the skyscrapers of garbage). Wall-E spends his time compacting and stacking rubbish but, having developed a personality over time, also collects various intriguing nick-nacks and trinkets. Alone on the whole planet, save for an indestructible cockroach, his life is changed when a new high-tech robot, EVE, arrives, and he is instantly smitten. And from that initial encounter begins a bizarre but touching love story before EVE returns to outer space with Wall-E in tow...

It seems the big animation studios have reached a level of technical expertise that means they are no longer playing a game of visual effects oneupmanship, but whereas the likes of Dreamworks relies on big name stars, goofy gags and pop culture references, Pixar stands out from the competition thanks to the wonderful mature story-telling and surprising emotional involvement for a tale ostensibly of a couple of robots. Its not the case where the makers feel like they have to crowbar jokes in for the grown-ups while the kids are enveloped in the garish lunacy and fart noises - Wall-E is universal entertainment of the highest order.

Everything about this film works - the characters, the settings, the narrative drive, the visuals. Perhaps there is a little too much to-ing and fro-ing, it sometimes veers into convention and predictability, and the shift in the story and location may not appeal to those expecting a more abstract experience (as perhaps the trailers may have indicated), but whichever way you cut it - sci-fi epic, romance, action-adventure, slapstick comedy, dark satire - it manages to trump other films, live-action or animated, that purport to even cover one, even two, of those genres. Plus the traditional short animation before the main feature is perhaps the best one yet, brimming with a madcap energy and ingenuity of the very best Looney Tunes shorts. Truly, Pixar spoil us so very much.

9/10

FILM: [●REC]

Nearly a decade on, the impact of The Blair Witch Project continues apace with the P.O.V./mockumentary format for horror films especially popular as a cinematic device at the moment, with the likes of Cloverfield, Diary of the Dead, and now this Spanish flick. But, just as was proved with Blair Witch, a smaller tighter film can make an even bigger splash than its blockbuster brothers, and it is testament to [●REC]'s brilliance that it manages to trump similarly gimmicked pictures of a higher profile and/or from respected masters of their craft. And mark my words, it is one of the best horror films of the decade.

The set-up is simple: local TV presenter Angela (Manuela Valesco) and cameraman Pablo follow a crew of firemen on their night shift. But when they are called to an apartment building, it rapidly becomes clear that this is not an ordinary call-out. Soon, the whole building is sealed off and quarantined, the residents start to panic, the terror builds and builds, and the camera keeps rolling. And therein lies the key aspect to the film's success, in that directors Juame Balagueró and Paco Plaza utilise every trick at their disposal that the fourth-wall breaking camera perspective offers: characters react differently to the intrusion of being filmed, the sound and lighting are crucial mechanics in building atmosphere and tension, and with the one lens the only view available to the audience, we are forced to see what our cameraman sees and venture where he goes, whether we want to or not.

Being as self-contained as it is, the film accomplishes everything it sets out to achieve in its lean running time, with an entertaining opening establishing the nature of the original TV programme and a midway pause for interviews with the residents providing welcome humour and lightness to the otherwise dark and intense horror. And while it takes a little while to get going, once it kicks off, it really kicks off, with the last half-hour in particular offering a barrage of unrelenting thrills and supsense few films achieve in their entire running time. It is kudos to the cast (in particular, the wonderful Valesco) that the fear remains palpable and the terror believable. And as the true nature of the chaos is gradually revealed, [●REC] is elevated to exceptional status.

No horror film since Ringu has left as indelible impression on my mind as [●REC]. And as the experience will no doubt be diluted by the upcoming sequel (from the original makers) and American remake (with the more generic title of Quarantine, complete with spoilerific trailer, though with the likeable Jennifer Carpenter from Dexter in the lead role), anyone with even the slightest interest in horror is strongly advised to catch [●REC] as soon as possible, in all its raw, disturbing and thrilling glory.

9/10

> > > Official Site, IMDb

FILM: Son of Rambow

2008 may very well be the year in which the main cinematic trend was in putting the camera in the hands of the characters, for them to document (Cloverfield), to make movies of their own (Be Kind Rewind), or do a bit of both (Diary of the Dead). So, from creative duo Garth Jennings and Nick Goldsmith (aka Hammer & Tongs - music video directors and the team behind the big screen The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy) comes Son of Rambow - arriving off the back of Sylvester Stallone's own fourth outing as the (almost) titular character. You couldn't really have picked better timing.

It's the early 80's, and a chance encounter between young Will Proudfoot (Bill Milner), from a deeply religious family of Plymouth Brethren members, and school tearaway Lee Carter (Will Poulter) leads them into an unlikely friendship of sorts. When Lee enlists Will to become the stuntman in the film he's making for BBC's children show Screen Test, a chance viewing of a bootlegged copy of First Blood sets Will's fervent imagination alight and so begins the filming of 'Son of Rambow'. But religious commitments, bullying brothers and the arrival of the French exchange students, notably the super-cool Didier Revol (Jules Sitruk), threaten the shoot - will the Son of Rambow get the bad guys and ever rescue his father?

As with the aforementioned Be Kind Rewind, Son of Rambow is not a straightforward film parody; while the big laughs are similarly found in the moviemaking process, Jennings understands just like Michel Gondry that a 90 minute YouTube pisstake does not a good film make, and what Son of Rambow pulls off is building up the touching relationship between the two main protagonists. Both Milner and Poulter live their roles, delivering fine complimentary performances that allow them to behave just like, well, kids (rather than the wooden cue-carding or creepy adult-like delivery of other child actors). And while there are the inevitable dips into the formulaic (the customary falling-out, the confrontations between religious values and just being a kid, dealing with family problems), they mostly manage to steer away from the saccharine sickliness of many a Hollywood effort.

But where it best succeeds is in recreating the combined thrill and tedium of your childhood years: watching films you were far too young to see, sitting through seemingly endless Geography lessons, the countless near-death/serious injury dares and stunts you pulled. The film's best scenes are saved for Didier and his amassed posse of younger wannabes (think Rufio and The Lost Boys from Hook), leading to a chance visit to the sixth-form common room, a fantasy nightclub of Depeche Mode dance routines, popping candy and Coca-Cola combinations and temporary tattoos. When Didier volunteers himself to become the star of our heroes' film, it's both strangely beautiful and downright hilarious.

With so much going on with periphery characters hither and thither and the backstories for both Will and Lee to be thoroughly explored, there are times when the narrative leaps about just a little too much during its rather short running time (at least in this day and age), but it doesn't collapse under its own ambitions thanks to spirited performances, ceaselessly creative sequences and its genial feel-good nature. Jennings' eye for cinema has been well-honed throughout his career, but for only his second feature film, he displays a heart and joyful playfulness that shows real confidence in the material (loosely based as it is on his own personal experiences growing up).

It's perhaps the most accurate portrayal of kids as they really are (cussing, obnoxious, violent; but still just kids) since The Goonies, and deserves to be a big family film hit - only the most uptight and ignorant of parents would prevent their tykes from seeing children their same age swearing and getting into scrapes like they no doubt do every day. Perhaps it would make a good double bill with This is England? Or Rambo? Either way, it comes highly recommended. Skills.

8/10

> > > Official Site, IMDb

FILM: I'm A Cyborg But That's OK

Director Park Chan-Wook is perhaps seen as the leading figure in the new wave of Korean cinema which has struck a chord with audiences across the world, usurping both Hong Kong and Japan as the "go-to" nation for groundbreaking cinema in East Asia. With his "Vengeance" trilogy complete, Park's venture into romantic comedy may seem a peculiar choice, but this film still carries over themes from his previous work and the style is still undeniably all his. I'm A Cyborg But That's OK focuses on two patients in a mental hospital and the relationship that develops between them. Young-Goon (Im Soo-Jeong) believes she is of cybernetic origin and spends her time talking to vending machines and licking batteries for sustinence, while Il-Soon (Rain) spends his time wearing a variety of masks and has the ability to steal other people's "powers" (or, in this case, mental handicaps).

Park is no stranger to flights of fancy and visual jiggery-pokery and such a premise as this lends itself perfectly to his aesthetic. With science-fiction elements mixing with a variety of eccentric supporting players, few scenes pass without a quirky characteristic played out to its full, often with the aid of CGI. The visualisations of the patients' delusions give the film a sense that perhaps they aren't crazy after all, even if they are exaggerated to the point of unbelievability. But in doing so, the potential darkness of such a situation is mostly avoided.

I say mostly, because it's still a rather uncomfortable watch. Much of the humour is simply derived from the fact that the people on screen are basically mental, and while there are some very funny moments, I found it hard to give myself fully to the film's lightness dealing with what's in every other essence a somewhat bleak existence. Humour always played a factor in Park's previous films in even darker areas of human nature (also when concerning the themes of entrapment and injustice that also appear here), but deriving jet black comedy from the more macabre or disturbing somehow rests easier on my mind. Perhaps that says more about me than the film.

And in much the same way as Takeshi Miike's Zebraman was his idea of a family film, Park's view of what might be suitable viewing for his young daughter (for whom he made the film) is unconventional to say the least. Before the screening at the Barbican as part of the London Korean Film Festival, he asked us to view the film from the perspective of the a 12-year-old, and while I would've probably got a kick out of this when I was 10 years younger (good God), this isn't the kind of picture you'd get from the House of Mouse. One repeated manic hallucination of Young-goon's is just about as violent as anything in Lady Vengeance.

However, there is much to like about the film. The leads are endearing and engaging, and the oddball assortment of fellow patients provide a colourful backdrop. And there is no denying the talent of Park, who appears to be just as comfortable shooting fantasy as much as reality, blurring the boundaries wherever he sees fit but not in such a way as to disorientate the audience. It's plain silly in parts, but you buy into it. What on paper sounds like a cross between Amelie and The Terminator at first is ultimately far more inspired than its intial plot summary suggests it would be. In fact, its tone is more akin to Joon-Hwan Jang's Save The Green Planet, another recent Korean film that flits between sci-fi thriller, gruesome horror and lowbrow comedy with gleeful abandon.

From a lesser director, this would be considered nothing short of their finest hour, but coming from the director of Oldboy, it's perhaps not as assured as it should be, even if it's not the kind of film he's used to making. While its failure at the domestic box-office appears to have forced Park to return to the blood-soaked tales that made his name, it would be a shame if he didn't hop genres again in his career. It's not a masterpiece, but that's OK.

7/10

> > > IMDb

GIG: Live Earth Japan - Kyoto Toji (07.07.07)

While major cities played host to day-long mega-concerts in vast venues to alert the world's attention to Al Gore's SOS campaign to curtail global warming, the city that gave it's name to the best known climate change treaty yet devised (the Kyoto Protocol) was hosting it's own side concert. And what better setting for a smaller, more low-key affair, than the serene surrounds of the Toji, home to Japan's tallest wooden tower and a symbol of Kyoto itself. As a gig venue, it reminded me of the annual summer concerts held at Glastonbury Abbey, which dates from around the same era; the only exception being that the Toji is not in ruins and is still a functioning place of worship, some 1,200 years later.

So to get myself in the mood, I watched some of the live feed online from the Tokyo concert already underway, as Japanese rockers Rize thrashed about and screamed with crazy hair, outfits and tattoos. That afternoon, I took the train to Toji station (about half an hour away) and joined the queue lining up beside the temple grounds. Once inside, we gathered in groups according to our ticket number, and were sent into the inner area via the pagoda in batches (picking up a Live Earth pamphlet and tote bag along the way). While much of the seating had already been taken, I found a seat near the back but with a fine view of the stage. What was wonderful about the setting was how it wasn't just a concert within the temple grounds, but the temple building was the stage itself (well, everyone was performing in front of it, but it made for a gorgeous backdrop once the lighting was in full swing). It was just after 7pm, the sky was darkening, the humid air was thinning and a cool breeze was...erm...breezing. Then suddenly the tinkly Zen music was broken with a thump. Then another. Then another. Was Godzilla approaching? Were storm clouds looming?

No...DJ Fumiya marches across to his decks, scratches the SOS morse code (used in the interval music throughout), and is joined by the rest of his Rip Slyme cohorts decked in white jackets, different coloured hats, and shorts. The closest thing you'll get to the Beastie Boys in Japan, Rip Slyme's goofy upbeat rap is a great way to start, and the audience claps and nods to their bouncy antics. I was pretty amazed how small some of them were, but they can sure rhyme the rhyme well, and as a rap combo, Rip Slyme's dash of humour and self-deprecation (no band can take themselves seriously dancing the way they do) is fun and refreshing. Even if I didn't recognise any of their tracks.

Next up was song siren UA. Having not heard any of her material beforehand, I didn't really have high expectations, but I was blown away by her performance. With only a single guitar accompaniement, she belted out a stunning epic flowing number of incredible range and a unique singing style - while it was clearly Japanese she was singing, she managed to make it sound as un-Japanese as possible, and more like Icelandic (though that might just be the easy to lump together Sigur Rós / múm effect when it comes to strange or ethereal non-English singing). She also made little monkey noises during and after the songs. This is a good thing. And she was also the most conscious of the evening's goal in terms of saving the world, and seemed the most earnest in her appreciation of Kyoto ("日本の心", "the heart and soul of Japan" as she called), even going so far as saying thanks in local dialect.

She was followed by Kyoto-born Bonnie Pink, another well-known Japanese songstress, but also one I'd yet to hear in any shape or form. As expected, the stage turned pink, and she began her first track, entitled 'Heaven's Kitchen', which followed your typical pop-song formula, but the funkier vibe and the gutsy performance were enough to win me over. I wouldn't usually go to see this kind of music live, but I think it's safe to say that once can appreciate the talent and the quality of singing far better than just hearing it pop on the radio. However, her following songs weren't anywhere near as interesting, and the rather shameless plugging of her singles and albums offset some of my newfound appreciation.

With a sole piano now occupying the stage, it was time for Michael Nyman, and it was probably the first time I've seen a solo pianist perform live since my school recital era (actually, there were a few kids taking turns at keyboards at the Sapporo Snow Festival). As the only foreigner performing that night (I'd only seen four other gaijin at the concert, all middle-aged, 3 with Japanese wives, 1 with a camera), I wondered whether he was especially popular in Japan, or had some connection with the country. It seemed an odd choice - I'm only vaguely familiar with his work, with only his collaboration with Damon Albarn on the score to overlooked frontier cannibal thriller Ravenous I could really vouch for. As a result, I was never too sure if the odd mis-plinks and mis-plonks were intended or nerves getting the better of him (his only audience interaction, understandably, being a series of bows before and after hi set). But having checked his Wikipedia entry, it seems like his music was also frequently used in Japanese cooking competition show, Iron Chef, which would explain the connection. Perhaps it was the slow and minamilist nature of his tunes, but his segment did seem to go on longer than the others (each getting only a piffling 20 minutes), and the close proximity to the road behind meant one tune was interrupted by the motorcycle revs of some jackass bosozoku. However, everyone seemed to recognise his final tune, 'The Heart Asks Pleasure First' from his score to The Piano. And there was much applause when he took his final bow. But was this genuinely appreciative of his perfomance or were people just happy to see him go? Well, it soon became clear that everyone was here to see one act and one act alone.

Having recently reformed for a beer commercial (what do you expect in Japan), the legendary trio of Haruomi Hasono, Yukihiro Takahashi and Ryuichi Sakamoto, aka Yellow Magic Orchestra, were taking to the stage for the first time together in 14 years (at least under the YMO name). It only took the stage crew to move on their individual mini-stages to get the crowd to stand, applauding and whooping. But when they appeared, the crowd were esctatic, as was I. Undeniably greyer, but also, undeniably cooler in their older age, they began with a stirring rendition of 'Ishin Denshin (You've Got to Help Yourself)', which fitted in well with the nature of proceedings. This was followed by two tracks I hadn't heard before, and I have a feeling at least one may have come from Hasano and Takahashi's Sketch Show project (which also sometimes featured Sakamoto, all three appearing under the guise of Human Audio Sponge). Whatever the case may be, they were both typical of their distinctive sound. Their final tune was their new remix of the classic 'Rydeen', which sounded so very good live, and had the audience humming the melody as they departed. While there was a wait for an encore (such a tease - waiting over a decade to play four tracks - what about all the guys who came in their YMO shirts?), when the equipment was being removed and the stage dismantled, it became clear that was that. Too short it may have been, but it was worth it, and for what will most likely be my last gig in Japan, I couldn't think of any domestic act I'd have rather seen.

But did all this really get its message across? Who knows...unlike most of the other concerts, the attendees here were mostly plus 30 years old, who may not be as clued up in green issues as their younger counterparts. But Japan already has a pretty good record when it comes to recycling and the like, though it could probably improve on it's 'burn everything' mentality, as well as the amount of unnecessary packaging used for most everyday shopping purchases. I guess the problem with the Live Earth concerts as a whole is that there isn't really a clear goal or sense of unity or ultimate progress or achievement or influence being created. Especially as there has been little publicity made about them at all. Only two or three people I told about the event had a vague idea of what it was, and I haven't read or seen anything about the concerts in Kyoto or Tokyo in the run-up to the day (okay, so I don't read the newspapers or have a TV, but these things are meant to seep through somehow). At least I can be thankful for not having it's omnipresence rammed into my brain - I can imagine in London there's probably a bit of big important concert apathy, considering there's one held in Hyde Park or Wembley Stadium seemingly every weekend. While I indeed have concerns about global warming, at least I got to see YMO. Regardless of whether the day's objectives are achieved or not in the long run, for now, that's good enough for me.

8/10

You can view videos of Rip Slyme and YMO perfoming, plus photos of all the acts, taken by yours truly, at my special Live Earth Kyoto YouTube Playlist and my Live Earth Kyoto Flickr Set.

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